Talent Unloaded For Nothing XI

FBYF, Issue 9

Kevin Blackwell
Considered by all those in the know to be the main reason behind Scarborough’s Football League promotion winning side in a season in which he received the club’s Player of the Year as well as his GMVC Championship medal. Literally given away by United after some marvellous service to us, culminating in a Player of the Season award and that unforgettable… eeerrr…. eeerrr….. Wembley penalty save. Pruning his travelling expenses from his home in Luton was allegedly the bone of some contention. Appeared on TV last season keeping Chelsea at bay in Scarborough’s Littlewoods Cup giant killing feat.

Richard Dawson
Undignifiedly sacked by Kerr for ‘working’ (‘semi pro’ being a bit of an obvious clue to GMVC players’ lifestyles) the former Pilgrims’ captain returned from Goole to Chorley.

Keith Alexander
Although he can now frequently be seen playing for Grimsby Town F.C. on Yorkshire TV’s ‘Goals on Sunday’ popping up in the box to head crosses home like an Exocet he had earlier spent many years on the slopes of Underhill ensuring that, unlike the ball there, his career wasn’t in danger of going downhill. Pointlessly given away by United, presumably with the usual ‘need to cut the wage bill’ excuse which is so often the club’s cash-oiled intention.

Doug Newton
By all accounts one of the most naturally talented players in recent times, a talent allegedly not always mirrored by his temperament. The Platini free-kick taker of the GMVC, though nowadays all ours are hit straight at the wall ‘cos he’s long since gone to Stafford. Scored against us a couple of seasons ago only to sprint across to the dug-out and abuse Kerr – probably soon to be the traditional method of celebrating a goal. As Kerr quite rightly said about the incident “That’s exactly why I got rid of him.”

Richard Brown
Whether or not the club’s policy of operating a player dismissed for every player gained is an inadequately camouflaged attempted at penny-pinching, or rather that departures are a necessary waste product in manufacturing a necessary grip on economic reality, is tactfully left to the reader’s own conclusions. A defender who is so mature, it hurts.

Gary Simpson
Another classic inclusion in this XI, given away for nothing after being sent off one night during a 3-0 reversal at Enfield. Later Kerr and Reid recaptured his signature for a painful £7,000

Dominico Genovese
The man with the unpronounceable name first endeared himself to United fans with spectacular goals in his first two games against Worcester and Runcorn. Subsequently made a major contribution to United’s first ever Wembley appearance ( remember BIyth ? ) only for nepotism to leave him on the sidelines for the final. Having departed he later resurfaced playing in the League for Peterborough and then on the BBC’s “Road to Wembley” programme showing some classy touches for Kettering in their unlucky first round defeat to Northampton.

Devon White
Admittedly we all thought he was dreadful beyond all comprehension when he turned out for United under O’Brien . Subsequently has turned out for Gerry Francis’s promotion winning Bristol Rovers; White obviously plays well if not always legally – he’s been booked more times than the average restaurant table.

Paul Wilson
Though we technically received £13,000 for Willo’s departure, at today’s prices that still counts as a free transfer. Just to surmise, Willo was one of the most realised talents the club has ever possessed. Indeed Wilson would sell opponents such a good dummy that he frequently issued a V.A.T. receipt.

Simon Garner
The proverbial and literal big one that got away. After being on United’s books in the very early days of his career, he was jejunely allowed to depart to Blackburn where he has become Rovers’ all-time leading scorer. Good bit of planning for the future there lads – his transfer fee ? £0.00.

Dave Gilbert
Always a highly skilled winger who could beat any defender with an effortless, almost arrogant ease. After leaving us he went straight to Northampton and later joined Grimsby for £55,000. Demonstrating the club’s normal astute business sense, we refused to sell him when he was under contract, and then were forced to release him for nothing when his contract expired. A tremendous talent, and how much did we get for him ? The same figure as the number of votes as an Islamic militant would pole standing in a Tel Aviv by-election. (Political satire? You want political satire……..)

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