Category: impsTALK

The stupidly-named Boston United fanzine, launched in 2002

Boston United Season ‘Back On Track’ After Second Shit Defeat Away At Club Who Play In Garden Shed

Last Friday afternoon, in the studios of little-known over-50s radio station BBC Radio Lincolnshire, local bronze Sony Award winning DJ Scott Dalton had been reduced to drumming his fingers on a desk while staring forlornly at the unblinking lights of a dead switchboard. At a time when the bronze Sony Award winning Dalton would normally […]

Football fans sick of journalist with anti-Manchester United agenda who also has anti Liverpool agenda as well as a pro-Chelsea agenda even though Chelsea fans think he’s a pro-Liverpool shill who is going to get his fucking head kicked in one of these days clickbait wanker lol

Vocal football fans of nineteen of the Premier League’s twenty clubs, as well as thirteen inexplicably disgruntled supporters of Halesowen Town, are all absolutely sick to fucking death of Daily Telegraph football writer Bob Tower, it has been revealed.

A Few Reasons Why The Imminent Start of the Football Season Is Not Actually Something We Should Celebrate But Should In Fact Make Us All Profoundly Despondent But Doesn’t Because Our Lives Are Evidently Devoid Of Meaning And We’re All Too Stupid To Realise That Football Needs To Be Destroyed In Order To Save Football (Or, How I Learned To Stop Loving Football And Start Loving Something Else I Haven’t Yet Decided On Yet)

Are you excited? Football is back! Yes, football. That sport we love and always will love, because that’s just the way it is! Woo! Yay! Wooo!! Woo. Sigh.

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