PILGRIMS IN CRISIS. AGAIN.

It is fair to say Boston United fans aren’t really feeling the love for the man in charge of Boston United, Tommy fackin’ Taylor, at present. And little wonder, for the Pilgrims’ dismal struggles in the NPL thus far in 08/09 have been every bit as enjoyable as the average episode of Gilmore Girls.

Whether you think Taylor still has a future at York Street or that his fervent commitment to pop-star haircuts in defence has run its course, impsTALK genuinely cares about fair and reasoned debate about the future of our wonderful football club. That’s why we provide the impsTALK forum message board, where you, dear reader, will find the most cogent, well-constructed and most goodly-spelladized arguments on the whole of the internet.

Yet we strive to go the extra mile and so we have also canvassed three long-time supporters of the Pilgrims. This is what they think of the latest imbroglio at York Street and how the club might achieve the impossible dream: a home win against AFC United of One man And His Dog…..

TAYLOR SHOULD STAY

By Richard Bennett – sanctimonious, Guardian-reading, self-appointed mouth-piece of the fans

Tommy Taylor should remain as manager of Boston United, and all those who are calling for his resignation are morons. FACT!

I’m fully behind Tommy Taylor. His biggest supposed crime is that he has remained uncannily calm after one or two slightly disappointing results, leading to accusations that he lacks the necessary passion – although passion is certainly the most overrated attribute in this history of football. Some fans go further, believing Taylor simply doesn’t care.

Tommy simply needs to sign eight or nine new players and we will be fine. He is still the man for the job.

It seems our fans want a manager who looks ‘slightly bothered’ and who has a desire to ‘win’.

Well, we had one of those – and look where it got us.

Let there be no mistake here: Tommy Taylor got it wrong in the summer. Perhaps we all did, to some extent. Although some voiced doubts that the squad was physically flimsy, there was as almost universal acceptance and appreciation of its quality. And quality, we hoped, could get us out of this league. We were dead wrong.

The evidence is there to see in the results. The Pilgrims have competed admirably against our supposed betters: the win at Southport and the marvellous FA Cup display against Cambridge were credible performances.

Tommy simply needs to sign eight or nine new players and we will be fine. He is still the man for the job.

BAN THIS SICK FILTH

By Bob Mugfret-Fishhead – extremely outraged yet very important Boston fan

I have never been so DISGUSTED to be a Boston fan as I am right now. FACT. Losing at home to Spennymoor United a decade ago was bad enough, but Jesus fucking hellfire – 19th in the Northern Premier League is TERRIBLE. Taylor should resign, and he should resign NOW!

That’s the truth. I am incandescent with unutterable rage. I simply cannot articulate how furious I am. After we lost to Guiseley and I had driven home and had a bit of pie and mash and watched the last few minutes of Strictly Come Dancing and made sure X-Factor was set in Sky Plus, I did something I’ve never done before: I kicked the cat.

I pay hard-earned Egg Card cash advances to watch Boston United week in, week out and I deserve better than this.

Actually I didn’t, because I don’t have a cat, but I do have a cross-bred pit-bull I use to scare the kids who try setting fire to the wheelie-bins behind Cost Cutter. So I kicked Buster instead. It took six hours for police to prise him free from my leg. I did ask them not to shoot him in the head but it was the only way I wasn’t going to die from blood loss, apparently.

Perhaps it would have been for the best if I HAD died. I can’t imagine a world where my beloved Boston United are travelling to no-name pub teams like FC Manchester United and getting kicked off the park. Shame on you Tommy Taylor. Shame on you.

I mean, 3-1. At Guiseley! We should be pissing this league, pissing it good and proper. I really don’t think Taylor has a clue. A chimp hid a head injury could make better substitutions than him. I pay hard-earned Egg Card cash advances to watch Boston United week in, week out and I deserve better than this. The guys I was stood within ear-shot of at Guiseley were just as mad as me, if not more frustrated.

Well, now we’ve lost at home AGAIN, I’ve had ENOUGH. I’m not setting a foot back inside York Street until Tommy has been sent back rhyming slang land – and he can take that Margarson with him.

TAILOR OUT LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By boston_boyz_5652, Year Nine

TEHRE IS KNOW WAY THAT TOMMY HAS THE PASSION 2 TAKE US 2 WE’RE WE WONT TO B…. THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE ARE RITEFUL HOME AND WERE WE BELONG TAYLER IS THE WRONG MAN COME ON MR NEWSTER AND MR KEMPTON SORT IT OUT & MAKE US THE LAFFING STOCK OF THE LEAGE AGAIN NOT THIS PUB LEAGUE LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do YOU think? Do you think Tommy should fall on his sword (metaphorically speaking of course; this isn’t Bridgend) or do you think the Terry Tibbs sound-alike should be given more time to ‘sort things out’, by which most people seem to mean sign a whole new team or turn into a sociopath on the touchline? Then e-mail impsTALK.co.uk right NOW, with the subject I KNOW I SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT THINGS LIKE GLOBAL ECONOMIC DOWNTURNS, THE DETERIORATING SECURITY SITUATION IN THE AFGHAN/PAKISTAN BORDER REGION OR IMPENDING FLU PANDEMICS THAT MIGHT CONCEIVABLY WIPE OUT MY ENTIRE FAMILY, BUT I JUST CANNOT HELP FRETTING ABOUT THE FACT A PROVINCIAL NON-LEAGUE FOOTBALL TEAM IS SLIGHTLY UNDERACHIEVING and let us know YOUR thoughts! As if we actually give a shit!