Fans’ Forum announced

Fans’ Forum announced

Sunday announcement very unsubtle attempt at diverting attention from continual failure of Evans’ football team

Sinister Lavaflow chairman Jon Sotnick took time out from his Sunday dinner to deliver a sensational exclusive Singleton NewsCorp (Inc) Update via the official club website today. Wiping mint sauce from his chin, Sotnick revealed another Fans Forum has been arranged for pitchfork wielding fans to lynch him and various members of the Lavaflow board in two weeks.

After delivering the news to Singleton NewsCorp (Inc), Sotnick delayed his nap in front of the fire to tell impsTALK about the Forum that will take place on Tuesday 25 April.

“It’s really important fans can see the business plan,” Sotnick said, loosening his belt to alleviate the pressure build up caused by his earlier consumption of three Yorkshire puddings and a plate full of mashed potato. “Obviously, even if the figures don’t add up, it’s far too late to go back now, but at least when it all comes crashing down I won’t be factually incorrect when I tell the press the figures were out in the public domain and open for inspection.”

Sotnick expects a rough ride from fans, with Kent-based malcontent Mark Isaac set to try his usual attention-grabbing tactics. But Sotnick is more worried about ex-programme contributor Scott Dalton trying to gatecrash the Forum.

“Scott has his own agenda these days,” sighed Sotnick, picking lamb out of his teeth. “Normally it’s just scraping enough coppers together to buy a can of cheap cider to guzzle on his bench in the park, or sitting by W.H. Smith playing his little pipe really badly. I have a feeling he may come back to cause trouble, as always. We’ll have security on the day – we’ve got Gee (Evans) on the door.”

Manager Steve Evans, speaking about the second forum, told impsTALK: “Yeah, forum, great. I’m all for democracy. Listen ye wee little bastards, we outplayed Leyton Orient yesterday and it was only the fact they tapped up the ref and have a considerably bigger budget than my megre £475k that meant they dominated the game and beat us without ever moving out of second gear.”

The stupidly-named Boston United fanzine.
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