Pilgrims Ticket Office Sick of Ticket Queries

Pilgrims’ Ticket Office Sick of Ticket Queries

John Blackwell has today revealed to Singleton NewsCorp (Inc) that he is ‘sick to the back teeth’ of people ringing the Boston United ticket office to ask about tickets.

The fuming Blackwell gave an exclusive kiss-and-tell interview to newshound Craig Singleton during which he ripped into fans who dared bother the office with queries regarding the availability of tickets for forthcoming games.

“Haven’t these people got anything better to do with their time?” the irate General Manager stormed on Tuesday’s BUTV Lunchtime News.

“What a nerve they have, ringing up MY office blathering on about tickets for Saturday’s game at Peterborough. Idiots!”

Blackwell took time out from his live on-air rage to punch two visitors to the office who had come to buy tickets for the local derby with Posh.

“There are no tickets! It’s pay on the gate you blathering fools!” he could be heard shouting amid horrific screams from his victims, father-and-son Bob and Morgan Mugfret-Fishhead.

Meanwhile, in other, completely unrelated, news, British Gas have said they’re ‘really quite bloody bored’ of people calling them to talk about gas, and British Airways have informed the London Stock Exchange that ‘if one more person calls us about flying somewhere on a plane, we’ll actually kill them.’

The stupidly-named Boston United fanzine.
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